Introduction to
Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT)
Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, or REBT, is a form of psychotherapy that a lot of people find helpful, and an approach that is used on a regular basis when dealing with the things like addictive, compulsive, or obssessive coping mechanisms. It is an extremely versatile form of psychotherapy that can be used in a number of different formats, including self-help groups like SMART Recovery, and individual psychotherapy. If you do a quick Google search you will find a lof of reading material that's available on the subject, and for me personally, it was a natural progression in my own journey of behaviour chenage, because it gave me a series of evidence based skills that I could use to help me understand the way my thoughts and feelings were influencing my behaviours.
REBT was the brainchild of Doctor Albert Ellis and, since its conception, it has become significantly influential across the field of psychotherapy. For instance, since its introduction, other forms of therapy, that have a similar outlook have been formed, these modalities include many of the principles of REBT. These include things like the original work of Aaron Beck and Cognitive Therapy (CT), Marsha Linehan and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Jeffrey Young with Schema Therapy.
It is important for us to begin by taking a look at the basic theory behind using the tools of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy to help us in changing the behaviours we are trying to change. Much of what we discuss in the multiple weekly groups on offer that are available for free on the Zoom platform, along with the work we do in Group Coaching, or any of the formats we are using for individual sessions, are built on the basic foundational principles of REBT, and then expanded upon using the skills of DBT and Schema Therapy. Inside the pages of this website, and on the social media platforms of The Liberation Place, we will explore the ways in which we can use the tools that we have access to, in order to impact our lives in a positive manner and help understand the emotional reactions we all experience.
The Theory of REBT
REBT Works on the principles that your thoughts, emotions, and behavior are all very closely related. Nearly all of the important concepts in REBT deal with our thinking and how it has a massive influence on us, whether it is beneficial or detrimental. For example, when you have the thought "I like that", you feel pleased. When you think to yourself, "I don't like that" you feel displeased. These thoughts are known as "rational" and the emotions associated with them are "helpful" because they help us to feel the emotion connected with the experience we are having.
It would be really nice if we only ever had thoughts like these, but unfortunately, we don't. Most of us add absolute, all or nothing thinking, combined with "illogical" beliefs to the process, such as "I have to have what I want; I must not be disappointed," and "because I have failed in the past, I can never succeed in the future." These beliefs are often considered to be irrational and they give us hindering emotions that usually feel uncomfortable, miserable, and generally unhelpful.
This doesn't mean that we are hopelessly locked into these automatic ways of thinking. We can significantly alter our irrational tendencies by educating ourselves and developing insight into our thoughts, emotions and behaviors through hard work and repeated practice. This is why, I believe, that understanding the principles of REBT builds the type of foundation we need to work towards Living the Life we Want to Live.
The Main Irrational Beliefs
The main types of irrational Beliefs we tend to experience revolve around self-statements like "should", "ought to", "must" and "have to". Along with these, we add others in to the mix like "awful", "horrible", "terrible", and "can't stand," all of which come from our past experiences, and the development of our own Internal Critics. We also add the rigidity of black and white, all or nothing thinking ibto the mix, and we tend to run ourselves down for our mistakes, as well as sometimes holding others to an Unrelenting Standard for theirs.
All-or-nothing thinking, sometimes called black and white or absolute thinking, is one of many negative thought processes we can develop that are known as "cognitive distortions." When thinking in all-or-nothing terms, we split our views into extremes, or we only see things from one particular perspective. This can encompass everything, from the person's view of themselves to their life experiences, and it then becomes divided into black-or-white terms. Consequently this leaves room for little, if any, grey area in between (Dialectical Thinking) and feeds into our negative thought patterns.
The three main areas in which we develop our "Irrational Beliefs" are:
1. Beliefs about Self
2. Beliefs about Others
3. Beliefs about the Conditions of the World
Let’s look at these three main irrational Beliefs, along with the emotions and behaviors that usually accompany them.
Beliefs About Yourself
I must do well and gain the approval of others or else I am no good; it's awful when I do less well than I want to do; I can't stand it when I do badly, I should be severely punished. Beliefs like this create the hindering emotions of anxiety, guilt, shame, self-loathing, and self- hatred, and it sometimes precedes anger. It also may contribute to the behaviors of procrastination, addictive, compulsive and obssessive coping mechanisms, and can lead to parts of the personality that have suicidal ideation.
Beliefs About Other People
You, meaning others, must treat me nicely and kindly, and in just the way I want or else you're no good; your lousy behavior is awful, and I can't stand to be in your presence. When you do badly you should roast in hell. Beliefs like this accompany anger, hostility, and rage, and it may lead to fights, and revenge or "getting even". They dictate the way we behave around other people, and often lead to coping mechanisms that are unhelpful, and unhealthy.
Beliefs About the Conditions of the World
The world should make it easier for me to gain happiness, and it absolutely must not give me hassles or else it's a lousy, rotten world that is totally unfair; I can't stand the difficulties and hassles the world gives me; it's awful to put up with this hardship. Beliefs like this contribute to frustration intolerance, depression, procrastination, suicidal ideation, and addiction.
Secondary Upsets
Not only do we make ourselves upset because of these beliefs, we often notice that we are upset, and then upset ourselves further because of our upsets! We might notice that we are depressed, and then internally say to ourselves I shouldn't be depressed; I can't stand it. Or, we notice that our thinking is crooked and we tell ourselves, I shouldn't be thinking so crazily; I'm a real oddball, and I must not be that way; it's awful.
Finally, we can notice our self-defeating behavior and become upset about it by engaging in thought rumination. For example, I got drunk last night after a month's sobriety; that means I'm a hopeless case, and I will always fail; what a horrible person I am. We call the first upset a Primary Upset and the second a Secondary Upset. The Secondary Upset usually gives us more than twice the misery and makes it harder to overcome the primary upset.All of this language is linked to the perspective of our own Internal Critics, which in Schema Therapy, we learn play a significant role in the behaviour patterns we have created over time.
On the following pages there are lessons on how to use the skills of REBT, take the time to work through these lessons, try attending SMART Recovery meetings to develop these skills, and when ready, come join the conversation in our weekly online meetings where we take the principles of REBT, and develop them further using skills of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) to build your tolerance for emotional distress and regulate your behavioural responses, along with using the principles of Schema Therapy to understand your personality and the reasons you do what you do. All of which is designed to support you in developing your ability to Live the Life you Want to Live.
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