Why is it so Hard to Change?
Changing habits is definitely not an easy thing to do, particularly when they're ingrained in behaviours that are designed to help you deal with unwanted emotions. I spent years using substances, anger, and food, amongst many other things, to help me cope with my underlying emotional issues that didn't really come to the surface until I actually tried to sit with what was happening in my system. If you're looking to change any habitual way of coping with life, whether it's an addictive behaviour pattern like substance use, or a compulsive coping mechanism that you're starting to recognize is just not helpful for you, you can't simply stop using it and think that everything will be ok.
"If you're looking to change any habitual way of coping with lifeyou can't simply stop using it and think that everything will be ok."
If you do, there's a really high probability that your system will go on a path of destructive behaviour trying to find a new way of coping with your feelings that's just as intense and extreme as the last one. This is why we have to work on creating a balanced way of distracting, avoiding, and self soothing, so you're not just running around like a headless chicken like I was, desperately trying to find that next great thing that's going to fix your problems as good as the last one did, because, believe me when I say this, that's just not gonna happen. Changing habits means taking actions, not sitting in the void that left by removing your old coping mechanisms. So what do you say, lets get the conversation rolling!!
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